Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
