You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
