I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
