Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
