Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
