she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
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