Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
