he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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