Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
