dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
