Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
