no you cant smoke seaweed
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
