he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
