If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
