If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize