oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i will never coherently bang her
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Randomize
