i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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