You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
