I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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