i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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