That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
