Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
