Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
