I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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