I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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