oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
