I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
