I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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