You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
