God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
