he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You dont lie about slip and slides
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
