He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
