yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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