quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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