I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
