i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
