its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
