It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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