i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
