You're my little dorito
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
