he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
