If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
