Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
not ubering you a puppy
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
