my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
