Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
