If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
