She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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