Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
