I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
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