I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
