yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
